Saving up.

Is extremely hard when you have friends who wanna go out every weekend who make 3x more money that you.

I've been having a sushi addiction for some time now. I hate the fact that its so expensive for so little, but oh soooooo delicious!


SATS in a week. Summer in 5 days! _ _ _ in 2 days! LMAO. Work in 3 hours.

Dammit, I really need my own vehicle.

June, July, August. . .

Spent two hours trying to find a car, but since my dumbass is so clueless about automobiles, ANDREW CAME TO THE RESCUEEEE! Ahhh, failed this time =/. Found a couple nice ones, but most that are so tore up and ghetto LMAO. Hopefully tomorrow brings me luck =)!

Quiznos said I was #2 on their "to hire" list. #1 was bilingual and can speak fluent spanish & english. Sooooo that means I have a good shot at gettin this job, but idk if its really what I want. Loooking still, but its so hard to find one when I'm not licensed yet =/. I'll get it though, promise XD hehe.

Summer to do list:
1)LICENSEEEEEEE! PRIORITY! PRIORITY! PRIORITY!
2)GET FIT. Work out w/ Andrew and Keb to keep my ass motivated, haha. & to feel better about myself & be more confident :)))
3)Find a flexible job. Preferably @ a good, busy restaurant so i can make thoseeee tipssss yafeeelmeee? :)))
4)Re-study Chemistry since i'm taking Chem II AP!
5)Apply to colleges&universities & do community service at least once a week.
6)Catch up w/ family in the PI, missssinnn them =///! Since i was supposed to be there this summer.
7)Learn how to do hair&makeup. I'm such a girl, but suck at that ahaha. GROW MY HAIR OUT! I misss the long 'do!
9)Spend as much time with family since I'll be off to college next year!
10)Stop concentrating on worthless guys and improve myself for the sake of ME.

Sighhhhh, so much to do, so little time. I can do it though, no doubt :)))

Sisters<3

We don't have to share the same blood to be called sisters. We met 11 years ago when i was 6 and you were 10. Our parents are best friends and after knowing you for so long, I already consider you as my blood sister<3. Even with your busy lifestyle you always make time to listen to my silly problems and put up with me. That's what I love about you, you're such a real person and you're always gonna be there for me whenever, no matter what the situation is, i'll call you at 3 am and you'll still give the best advice ever! Now I'm 17 and you're 21 and you still treat me the same way you did 11 years ago. I'm glad to have you in my life cos I wouldn't know what I'd do when I have one of my off days and you wouldn't be there to knock my sense back to reality. LOL ily :)

Slowly

. . . we became close. This past year we've had the pleasure of knowing each other on a more profound level. We have some of the most amazing conversations about our lives, our future, about finding our true loves while in college (LOL), and countless others which i only have with you. You've became one of my good friends. Someone i don't hesitate to tell how i feel at that exact moment because I know no matter how stupid I may sound, you'll always tell me how it is. At times you may act really straight-forward, but I realize thats only because you care about me, and wouldn't want me to end up hurt or with someone below my standards. You're the definition of a great friend. I'm glad we're learning more and more about each other as time passes by. I'm proud of your accomplishments and you inspire me to be the best I can be. You give the most amazing advice that only a psychologist could give, hahahaha. Its astonishing to know that you're so funny, yet extremely intelligent as well. I'm so excited for our future. We're gonna be so successful in life and find our most compatible and perfect love matches that we always talk about :)


Hmmmm. .
I've decided to let you go. I don't think you'll do me any good, I just have this gut feeeling If i continue with you, I'm just on my way to a spiral of failure. So no, I'm thinking wisely here.

So in Psychology we learned about masks, and how everyone puts on a mask when they're around others to hide who they truly are and to blend in with the environment of others. I realized I'm still wearing that mask, and can't seem to shed it off. It's my only armor to conceal how i truly feel. I'm scared to show my weakness around people, but I know that I must be strong for my own satisfaction and to prove to myself I'm willing to let go of the past and move on. Ugh, I just can't seem to let it go after so many months. I think I'm bipolar LOL. But seriously, I can't wear this mask any longer. I have to fight these emotions away, cos that'll only lead me to a safer path. I'm tired of getting hurt constantly. I just need a sign to tell me where to go next.

BITCH.

I know i can be one when i wanna be, and there's always a reason when i'm the biggest bitch you'll ever meet. It fckn makes me sooooo mad when i say what i feel about something, and in return the other person is either too scared to respond or TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK. I don't think it's so hard to be a good friend to someone. I know we're not as close as we were last year, but the least you could do is know when a guy is off limits when your friend likes him. Yeah, so you say many guys were after you, so WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BACK OFF MINE AND GO WITH ONE OF EM? Instead, you took the guy i wanted to go with. You tried telling me to go, but i didn't want to anymore since you were his date. & what makes me tick is that he and i were supposed to go in the first place, but since you're so impatient he HAD to go with you. I didn't wanna stop you from going with him cos i thought you had your own conscience and would be a good friend to me to choose to not go w/ him. But you did anyway. & I know he didn't have fun, he even told me so. I'm not making this into a boy problem between us, but reality is, you've hellaaa changed. Other people even notice it. Oh, and i know i cuss and sometimes make sexual jokes but sorry we're not all PERFECT like you who. I don't need to be like you to be a good person, i can do w/e i want and i know i'm a good person so stop trying to make everyone like YOU. I also feel bad for your best friend, I feel like she doesn't have her own voice when she's around you. I know we used to be so close last year, but i actually like her better than you after getting to know her more. Honestly, I can care less if we're not as close as we were. I really don't need someone who thinks she's so good compared to me and would make me feel like i'm so bad for doing the things i do. I'm not sorry if i'm coming out this way to you cos i rather be REAL and honest than making myself look like the victim. Thats all i have to say to you.


& as for YOU . . . I'm starting to like you again. haha. why is it that when i see you i start all over again? i have a feeelin we'll see each other more this summer. i hope we do. you're not a player as i thought you were. lol FWB? ;) ahahah.

crushingggg:)))))))))))))

wowwww! its beeeen so so SOOOOO long since i've wrote on here. my life's changed in a whole new direction. i'm learning more and more everyday & i love the new experiences i've made. i've never felt this way in so long, and i wanna keep it progressing!

PROM! the highlight of my year! after all the rough times i've encountered this year, prom made up for it<3
was a crazy, confusing, exhausting, AMAZING, wonderful night :))) my date, john, was absolutely great! thank you for everything john, i reallly appreciate it! it wasn't even OUR prom but you're a gentleman for taking me and being the most amazing & SEXXXXIESTTT date everrrrr. the only thing i'd change about it was the food @ macaroni grill, ah it was kinna gross and i SPECIFICALLY wanted chicken and that white saucee thinggg, but no =/ LMAO. so we ended up going to prom TWO hours late and only got an hour to danceee. but it was amazing nonetheless and flo was in court! she should've won! but its okay :) AFTERPARTY #1 . . . LAME LAME LAME! it wasn't even an afterparty, cos everyone was pretty much knocked out watching seven pounds. left early to go to AFTERPARTY #2 which ended up being hilarious! didn't wanna get wasted so i only took a shot, but the rest of the night BEAT everyone in speeeed! hahahah. wanted to danceee even more but i was pretty tired. hopefully he gets to be my date again for homecoming cos aaaah i'd LOVE that :))) today. . . everyone @ school saw the pics and kept complimenting HIM saying i had such a cute date & that it was an UPGRADE from my ex! helll yeeeaaaaaaaah, i dont plan on heading in that direction any longer. its done. OVER WITH. and we both seem happy from what i hear. seee? everything happens for a reason, and all i'm sayin is NEXTTTT! ahahahah :)

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT! yesssss! i'm so so so excited to be done with junior year. i'm excited for the next year to come.

. . . work has been a whirlwind! two cute guys both named josh, hahah :)) should i go for the buff, tall, funny, football player one? or the sweet, intellectual, kind-hearted, down to go clubbin whenever/wherever one? hahahaha. . .


being single is not too shabby, not too shabby at all :))))