OHHHH.... and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PATRICK & TIFFANY :DDD
I will bring you your chicken & mac&cheese patrick! Just wait for it! :D
and TIFFF! i'll bring you a stone to scrub yo momma's back with! hahahahahhahaha LMFAAAOOO.
hope you both had a great bday, love you guyssss! <3
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Giving up.
WOOOOOOOWWW I haven't blogged in a while! Well let's get caught up, shall we?
Lent is finally here once again! So is Springggggg, hmmm i love Spring. It just makes you wanna fall in love all over again. HA! Riiiiggghttt. I read that in A Streetcar Named Desire. That book is quite interesting, the main character Stella, kinna reminds me of myself. She's with this guy who treats her like shit, but still she's wit him cos they're craaaaaazy about each otherrrr! Then she has a sister who keeps telling her to get out of the relationship, but she refuses. Although, i don't have a sister, aha but that's not important.
Okay, about Lent. I'm giving up Popeye's Chicken. You must be wondering. . . why Popeye's Chicken? Well i started working at Popeye's again just recently, and i'm assuming that working there last time was the reason for my weight gain. I mean, before i started working there I weighed 1_5, but after that i gained like 10 pounds! Ewwwwww =/ So I'm giving it up, as well as soda and sweets. It's gonna be hard, but I CAN DOOO ITTT! :D I gave up meat 2 years ago and that actually worked! I only cheated twice, but it paid off in the end. I'm also giving up answering back to my parents. Not just for Lent, but permanently. I hate when i get so defensive about things in front of my parents cos i tend to go overboard, and i know that's their biggest pet peeve is me answering back. And also, i need to be spending as much time as i can with them cos my dad's going to the hospital and getting surgery. I really hope he's gonna be okay. CORRECTION. He will be okay :D I know he's scared to go, and so am i. But the only thing i can do for now is be strong and remind him that everything will be okay. I feel so sorry that he's going through with this. Not just him, but my mom as well. She's having such a hard time and she's been so stressed everyday thinking about the bills and the payments. That's the reason why i'm working again. Even though they probably won't accept the money, i still really wanna help. I'm also saving up for my fees for my two AP tests, cos i'd feel so bad asking my parents for money. Ahhhh this economy, HELLLAAAA SUCKS! =/ FCK YOU BUSH!
Anywaaaaay, Sadies was supposed to be this saturday, but sadly, the group isn't going anymore. I wanted to go at first, cos i know i'll spend time wit my atech bitches :DD and seee ian, LOL but for some reason, one by one, everyone was backin out. Aha. Oh wellllssssss, there's still PROM :DD Still wanting to go with ian, but e_ _ _ asked to go if i didn't have date, soooooooooo idk, we'll seee bout that aha. But i do know that i'm wearing EMERALDDDD! :DD I saw angelina jolie wearing emerald and black at the Oscars, so that inspired me to wear it. And plus, i've never worn green before to any of my dances. But yeah, just gonna save up for PROM! Hopefully it'll be CRAACCKINNNN! hahaha.
Lets seeeeee. . . love lifeee. Hmmmmmmm. . . what to say. There's 3 guys at school who i'm kinna interested in. One who everyone knows i USED to like, but idk, its like i like him one day, i don't the next. Then the second one is always there for me to flirt with, my friend thought he was cute, and i was like WTF, she knew i kinna like him, but still she tried to holla. He does NOT like her though, but he really hasn't been honest with me about his feelings for me. So idk where we stand, but its always fun to flirt with him HAHAHAHA. Then the third one, i have a feeeling he's sorta feeeelin me. He told me we'll go to PROM together if we don't end up having dates, soooo yeaaaah. Idk if that means anything, maybe he was just being nice? LOL. Then, this one guy. . . NOT ATTENDING NORTHWEST, but another TECH schooooool. I've told quite a few of people about him, but i think it's just a crush. Although out of all the guys, I'M HELLA CRUSHIN ON HIMMMMMMM the most. I just hate when i text him, he replies with blank responses. I HATE THAT. We don't really know each other, but i hope we start off with a friendship, cos i'd love to have him as a friend. He seems very focused on school, and thats a major turn on :D His style is perfect. NOT HYPE! cos that style is just whaaaack, but sorta vintage, but he loooksss gooood :D not to mention, he's so HANDSOME! I'll see him tomorrow thoughhh :)
DAAAAMN! This is gettting really long, there's so much more, but i need to study to real quick for APUSH.
God bless, take care :D
Til next time . . .
Lent is finally here once again! So is Springggggg, hmmm i love Spring. It just makes you wanna fall in love all over again. HA! Riiiiggghttt. I read that in A Streetcar Named Desire. That book is quite interesting, the main character Stella, kinna reminds me of myself. She's with this guy who treats her like shit, but still she's wit him cos they're craaaaaazy about each otherrrr! Then she has a sister who keeps telling her to get out of the relationship, but she refuses. Although, i don't have a sister, aha but that's not important.
Okay, about Lent. I'm giving up Popeye's Chicken. You must be wondering. . . why Popeye's Chicken? Well i started working at Popeye's again just recently, and i'm assuming that working there last time was the reason for my weight gain. I mean, before i started working there I weighed 1_5, but after that i gained like 10 pounds! Ewwwwww =/ So I'm giving it up, as well as soda and sweets. It's gonna be hard, but I CAN DOOO ITTT! :D I gave up meat 2 years ago and that actually worked! I only cheated twice, but it paid off in the end. I'm also giving up answering back to my parents. Not just for Lent, but permanently. I hate when i get so defensive about things in front of my parents cos i tend to go overboard, and i know that's their biggest pet peeve is me answering back. And also, i need to be spending as much time as i can with them cos my dad's going to the hospital and getting surgery. I really hope he's gonna be okay. CORRECTION. He will be okay :D I know he's scared to go, and so am i. But the only thing i can do for now is be strong and remind him that everything will be okay. I feel so sorry that he's going through with this. Not just him, but my mom as well. She's having such a hard time and she's been so stressed everyday thinking about the bills and the payments. That's the reason why i'm working again. Even though they probably won't accept the money, i still really wanna help. I'm also saving up for my fees for my two AP tests, cos i'd feel so bad asking my parents for money. Ahhhh this economy, HELLLAAAA SUCKS! =/ FCK YOU BUSH!
Anywaaaaay, Sadies was supposed to be this saturday, but sadly, the group isn't going anymore. I wanted to go at first, cos i know i'll spend time wit my atech bitches :DD and seee ian, LOL but for some reason, one by one, everyone was backin out. Aha. Oh wellllssssss, there's still PROM :DD Still wanting to go with ian, but e_ _ _ asked to go if i didn't have date, soooooooooo idk, we'll seee bout that aha. But i do know that i'm wearing EMERALDDDD! :DD I saw angelina jolie wearing emerald and black at the Oscars, so that inspired me to wear it. And plus, i've never worn green before to any of my dances. But yeah, just gonna save up for PROM! Hopefully it'll be CRAACCKINNNN! hahaha.
Lets seeeeee. . . love lifeee. Hmmmmmmm. . . what to say. There's 3 guys at school who i'm kinna interested in. One who everyone knows i USED to like, but idk, its like i like him one day, i don't the next. Then the second one is always there for me to flirt with, my friend thought he was cute, and i was like WTF, she knew i kinna like him, but still she tried to holla. He does NOT like her though, but he really hasn't been honest with me about his feelings for me. So idk where we stand, but its always fun to flirt with him HAHAHAHA. Then the third one, i have a feeeling he's sorta feeeelin me. He told me we'll go to PROM together if we don't end up having dates, soooo yeaaaah. Idk if that means anything, maybe he was just being nice? LOL. Then, this one guy. . . NOT ATTENDING NORTHWEST, but another TECH schooooool. I've told quite a few of people about him, but i think it's just a crush. Although out of all the guys, I'M HELLA CRUSHIN ON HIMMMMMMM the most. I just hate when i text him, he replies with blank responses. I HATE THAT. We don't really know each other, but i hope we start off with a friendship, cos i'd love to have him as a friend. He seems very focused on school, and thats a major turn on :D His style is perfect. NOT HYPE! cos that style is just whaaaack, but sorta vintage, but he loooksss gooood :D not to mention, he's so HANDSOME! I'll see him tomorrow thoughhh :)
DAAAAMN! This is gettting really long, there's so much more, but i need to study to real quick for APUSH.
God bless, take care :D
Til next time . . .
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sometimes the spark just dies. . .
Why am I fooling myself? He doesn't deserve me. I can do so much better, and everyone's tellin me so.
It's true, I NEED to move on. Holding on to something that's nonexistent won't do me any good. It was a good 2 years, but above all that, I need to accept that sometimes your first love won't always be your last.
You not being there just showed me how much i need to move on, and what everyone's been tellin me is right. You only care about yourself, and you never stick to your word. I don't deserve being treated like shit anymore, and you know what? I should've left you a long ass time ago when you started becoming such a dick to me. I changed, yes I know. But so have you. If you really loved me like you said you did, then you'd accept the change that I made, and wouldn't call me a bitch everyday. I know I can be a bitch, but the love I gave to you was so much more, but I guess you never really appreciated it. The reason for my change made me a stronger person. I'm not the girl you fell in love with, I accept that now.
Looking back at what we had, I realized how much of an asshole you were. I know i complained about you not showing me your love, but you complained back saying i was demanding and bitchy. You had no respect for me, and if you did you'd have treated me so much better. I guess i was was only in love with you in the beginning, because you did what you were supposed to do as a boyfriend. But after awhile, the spark just died and everything felt forced. The 'i love yous' would be said, but no meaning was attached to it.
So i won't cry anymore and I won't feel this way because I don't deserve to. Go be with your girl who's in NEW YORK. I know you love her, so i'm letting you go. Goodbye.
It's true, I NEED to move on. Holding on to something that's nonexistent won't do me any good. It was a good 2 years, but above all that, I need to accept that sometimes your first love won't always be your last.
You not being there just showed me how much i need to move on, and what everyone's been tellin me is right. You only care about yourself, and you never stick to your word. I don't deserve being treated like shit anymore, and you know what? I should've left you a long ass time ago when you started becoming such a dick to me. I changed, yes I know. But so have you. If you really loved me like you said you did, then you'd accept the change that I made, and wouldn't call me a bitch everyday. I know I can be a bitch, but the love I gave to you was so much more, but I guess you never really appreciated it. The reason for my change made me a stronger person. I'm not the girl you fell in love with, I accept that now.
Looking back at what we had, I realized how much of an asshole you were. I know i complained about you not showing me your love, but you complained back saying i was demanding and bitchy. You had no respect for me, and if you did you'd have treated me so much better. I guess i was was only in love with you in the beginning, because you did what you were supposed to do as a boyfriend. But after awhile, the spark just died and everything felt forced. The 'i love yous' would be said, but no meaning was attached to it.
So i won't cry anymore and I won't feel this way because I don't deserve to. Go be with your girl who's in NEW YORK. I know you love her, so i'm letting you go. Goodbye.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Perfect timing . . .
For so long I've been wanting to start a blog, but never had any time to get around to it. Although with so much happening at the moment, I think now is the perfect time. Soooooo, how the hell do I start this? LOL. Oh! I know..
Okay, today is the 5th of February. One of the most sentimental dates in my life. Exactly two years ago, Ian asked me out. It's that time of year again, where all I could think about are the memories and moments we spent together. We only broke up about less than two months ago, and as early as about a week or two after the breakup, he found a new girl. Question still occurs to me, if he really did care about me like he said he did? Cos finding a new girlfriend after a two year relationship to me is just a bit shady. I know we're not together, but don't people usually take time to heal ? Was I really a horrible girlfriend that he all of a sudden stopped caring? I don't know. I hate admitting the fact that I truly miss him, and I miss what we had. He was my bestfriend, my lover, and my everything for two years and to lose it all at once, is a horrible feeling.
We still remain friends, although being friends with him is harder than I thought. Am I being too selfish to say that I only want him to myself 100%, or nothing at all? AAAAHHHH its driving me insane. Today was supposed to be such an amazing day, but it started out horrible, and nothing's progressing. He made me feel completely out of this world, he was my everything, as I was his. Now it's so heartbreaking to know that another girl is feeling what I had. I still can't seem to get over him, and as every day passes by I keep on telling myself that I'm better than this and I shouldn't worry. But the truth is, I need him.
If you're reading this, I hope you know how much I truly care for you and love you. Happy anniversary though, even if we're not together. This specific date will still remain the best day of my life. I love you <3
"never put a period after the word I LOVE YOU because love should never have an ending. . ."
Okay, today is the 5th of February. One of the most sentimental dates in my life. Exactly two years ago, Ian asked me out. It's that time of year again, where all I could think about are the memories and moments we spent together. We only broke up about less than two months ago, and as early as about a week or two after the breakup, he found a new girl. Question still occurs to me, if he really did care about me like he said he did? Cos finding a new girlfriend after a two year relationship to me is just a bit shady. I know we're not together, but don't people usually take time to heal ? Was I really a horrible girlfriend that he all of a sudden stopped caring? I don't know. I hate admitting the fact that I truly miss him, and I miss what we had. He was my bestfriend, my lover, and my everything for two years and to lose it all at once, is a horrible feeling.
We still remain friends, although being friends with him is harder than I thought. Am I being too selfish to say that I only want him to myself 100%, or nothing at all? AAAAHHHH its driving me insane. Today was supposed to be such an amazing day, but it started out horrible, and nothing's progressing. He made me feel completely out of this world, he was my everything, as I was his. Now it's so heartbreaking to know that another girl is feeling what I had. I still can't seem to get over him, and as every day passes by I keep on telling myself that I'm better than this and I shouldn't worry. But the truth is, I need him.
If you're reading this, I hope you know how much I truly care for you and love you. Happy anniversary though, even if we're not together. This specific date will still remain the best day of my life. I love you <3
"never put a period after the word I LOVE YOU because love should never have an ending. . ."
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