Its a tradition

For me to watch asian dramas/movies every summer, spring break, and winter break.
Just finished this one, its such a beautiful story!!!!!

"A Millionaire's First Love"



Recommend this one if you're into these kinna things, haha. I absolutely love 'emmmm.

Getting ahead of myself.

Sometimes we all need to stop thinking. STOP WORRYING. Quit wondering about what would've happened, what could happen, what the next step is, and all that nonsense our mind keeps on addressing. THAT IS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. I can't just go with the flow, I have to picture a situation exactly how I want it, but 99.9% of the time I end up getting disappointed. This happens to me EVERY TIME, but I still cannot manage to learn from it. It does me no good, but I wonder why I still do it? I think its because I expect too much from people. Not a single person has ever FULLY satisfied me and that accounts for friendships and relationships. Hence the word FULLY, I'm not saying I've not once been happy with the friends I have and the relationships I take on, but I have never been FULLY content with having both at the same time. When I'm single, my friends become the most important people in my life. When in a relationship, that person becomes the person above all else. Family is a different story because they're constantly amazing, and I'm lucky to have such loved ones in my life. Although, why is it that BOTH parties can never balance each other out. I'm afraid to be in a relationship because I don't wanna lose and drift away from my best friends. But then again, being single has its downfalls as well and I miss having someone special. Ugh, its all such a blur to me. The solution is SO simple, but for some reason. . . I'm still dissatisfied in the end. I'm such a complicated person. Oh goodness, I am worrying too much again. I AM SO BIPOLAR.

To: Anonymous

I told myself I wouldn't get involved with you cos you seem like the heartbreaker, player, swinger, whatever. You know what I mean. I'm not into guys like you cos I'm too afraid to risk my feelings and lay my cards out on the table and be taken advantage of. The thing is when I'm with you, I feel safe, secure, and wanted. You were there to comfort me when he looked the other way. You vented out to me about your past and all I wanted to do was hug you real tight and hold you. I could tell you still feel hurt about your past, and that's okay cos I know exactly how you feel. Although we can both put our past behind us and move forward. You've been there when I felt like shit and you listen with an open heart. With you, I can see myself. Thinking about you makes me happy. I'm glad we didn't do anything we'd regret, cos truthfully I'm starting to develop feelings for you and I don't want you to seem like just another guy. You're more than that to me. I picked the wrong guy to pursue when it was between you two, and I'm sorry if I had my pre-assumptions about you and thought you were someone you're actually not. You make me happy :) You give me hope to believe in something I thought I'd never have again. :)

LMAO.

"It's too big, it's too wide

It's too strong, it won't fit

It's too much, it's too tough"


LMAO. Fckn Beyonce talkin about her ego. When I first heard this song in Kev's car I was so shocked. Hahahaha. "IS THAT A PENIS?" referring to _ _ _ _'s picture, wowwwwwwww. LOL. Bestfriend, you're fckn hilarious haha.


Anyway, a lovely gentleman owes me a movie date and a pool lesson:) I'm excited. You give me a "corn on the cob" smile when I talk to you. I don't know, I just have this gut feeling you'll end up being a good thing. Prove me wrong about all other guys out there.

A Prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I first want to thank you for everything in my life. My family, friends, health, and well-being. Without you, I don't know which direction my life would be in right now. Please guide me with the decisions I make and please Lord, let me learn from the past mistakes I've made and account that to improve myself. With that being said, all I ask now is for your helping hand to assist me in making my next move. I've encountered the most difficult period of my life these past few months and this is an experience I hope to never go through again, not under any condition. I accept the fact that my mistakes led me to this point in time, although I am willing to learn from them and use them for the sake of my own. It is just extremely difficult to be content when I, myself, know I am deeply hurt and heartbroken. This pain I can no longer handle, so I ask in your Holy name to please guide me to be strong and to withstand any other heartbreak I may encounter. Please God, I hope you will give me the gift of strength and courage to overcome through anything that come my direction. That is all I ask Lord. May you shower me with your blessings every second of my life. And lastly, may you guide me with your Holy Spirit to direct me to the right path of love, joy, and happiness. I love you God, and thank you once again.

Twentieth post!

"In order to get the best, you must go through the worse."

I wanna have time to

read a good book, or a couple books this summer. The thought just sounds so relaxing.

& This would probably be so opposite from reading, but I want me a summerboy, or maybe not just for the summer, LOL :) I've decided I'm ready for a boyfriend. I'm done with all the underprivileged guys that come my way. I want someone to prove me wrong. I want that gentleman w/ a bit of edge :))) I want someone that could tolerate me and love me for ME. I just want that reaaaal thaaangg.




As for YOU.
I'm not willing to sell myself short anymore. It's not worth it. I'm so much better that that, and I really don't know why i even agreed to it. I take it back. In the end we both know it'll make things worse for me, and you're just in it for the ride. You have someone else, don't make me feel like the other girl. I don't know why I keep wanting you when all I am to you is a girl from the past who you replaced. I wish you could just disappear from my life cos I just keep getting hurt. But I know better now and I'm doing this to save myself from the pain you'll put me through again. I hate the fact that my feelings keep coming back every time I see you. So the solution is, I won't see you anymore, ever. You're the past, and that's where you belong. Just like how you replaced me, I'm willing to replacing you. Goodbye for the last time, and this time, I mean I'm not coming back.