in two days

it'll be a year,
-sigh-

Sometimes you just need to cry, be sad, break down, and be torn apart. You need to learn how to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first, cause without sadness, there's no happiness, you would never learn to smile.

From my experience, I realized you only get two out of three in the category of family, friends, and love. It is nearly impossible to achieve full potential happiness in all three areas. I juss hope someday there'll be an exception and I'll get three out of three :)

Sooooo. . . I think i found my childhood puppy 'crush' LOL nd all i'm sayin is daaaamn ;D Hahaha

I THINK THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST ;D

I hate work. Hate hate hate it . . Need a break frm all this :( so glad homecoming is near nd got both dates for nw nd atech suwoooop! Hella excited. For now, gotta suck it up!

Family in the PI has been affected by the typhoon. I'm such a wreck right now. Praying praying praying everything will be okay. . .
& in times like these, I wish I had you again. WTFCK's wrong with me:(

Andrew Zoll:)

We have such a complex, beautiful, and authentic friendship that I know others envy. Other than my family, you're the most important person in my life. I can't even describe how lucky I am to have YOU as my best friend. You've NEVER let me down, not once. I don't know how you do it, seriously, but I fucking love you for everything you do. ahaha. CHUUUUWAAARIWAAAPP! LOL:)))

I'm so sorry :( i dnt knw what else to say. I feel so heartless, pls forgive me. The last thing i wanted to do was to hurt you. But thats why i ended it now rather than disappointing you further in the future. I'm apologizing for the fact that i wasn't being straightforward with you. I should've told you how i felt frm the get go, instead of forcing my feelings for you to progress. Oh god, pls dnt act like yr okay. I knw yr upset, let me have it. I dnt want you to keep it all inside, do something! I'll feel better knowin how you truly feel rather than putting up a facade. Let it out, i deserve it. Stop making it seem like yr okay. I knw yr not! Ugh. Juss let me feel my mistake cos you dnt need to feel this way. You nd I both knw how hard it's been, but dnt think I won't miss you cos I will. . Sry:(

Officially with you . . :) 9.20.09 @ 7:20 pm<3

Yuuuuuup.

So goooooooood, mmmhm :)

Yr baaaaaaaack ! Its been too long of a minute boyy, i was startin to forget bout you . . Lol. But for the record, i'm still single ;) teehehehe.

My mom is my superwoman. She's juss plainly amazing:)

My favorite part of the day is at night when i get to talk to you:)<3

txtmsg<3

Date : Sep 07, 01:47 am
"I wanna wrap my arms around you and hold you close. Lay on the bed, cuddling, not even doing a single thing, but being with each other. Your presence making me feel out of this world. Christia, I really like you, I hope you don't think what I say is BS, I mean it when I say I how much I like you. You're so different from other females. You give off a positive vibe, you're real, and thats what I like the most. Boo, you have been through a lot, but you have me. I'm here when you need me ok??? STOP thinking too much, just go with the flow. Thats what I'm doing, and everyday you can count on me to make you happier than yesterday. Tomorrow happier than today. I CAN'T wait to see you sweeeeetie finally get to see you again. Sleep tight for me, sweet dreams boo. Night."
From : Drew

--omfggggggg, siiiighsssss<3

So like, why you so obsessed wit me?

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. eggggsaaactly!

i feeeel like i haven't blogged inna while.
haven't rly felt the mood to recently, but lets catch up, shall we?
hmmmmmmmm. . . i'm rly rly rly rly rly rly ridiculously tired right now but for some reason i felt the need to blog.
i would juss make a vlog, but i look rly tired and my hair is a hot mess, aha next time(:
ANYWAY.
this week has been OUTTAAAA THIS WORLD. . . AMAZING. school's been such a success, i'm doing SO SO SO well in my classes! except for this one day, where i didn't do the hw in calc so i decided to drop that class since i know i suck at it and i dnt rly need it right now, plus it was the last period of my day so i had the option of dropping it and getting a free period, or getting out early. which i did. so now i'm only down to 7 classes, YEEEE(: its not that big of a change, but i figure calc would be my worst subject and i have a lot of workload already from mod lit and ap gov and medical assisting so i'd be overwhelmed. so once i did that, me & andrew celebrated our first day of free period and went to quiznos for lunch! ahahaha, not the quiznos i used to work at, the one next to the school cos i dnt feel like seeing my old co-workers. i believe that day was. . . friday?! YEAHH. last day of the week.
friday night was good. highlight of my night, actually two highlights. . I MET THE MOST HANDSOME GUY I'D SEEN IN PERSON. . . but he was gay!!! second highlight. . . the security guard who passed by us had the most incredible SMILE, ¬ to mention, he was so cute letting me ride that police scooter thing, haha. but guess what? he had a gf =// DOUBLE WHAMMY, right? LMFAO. wrong. well even though those two were unavailable, i got to be close to steven, the gay one, and aha he's jusss hella fun to talk to. i promised him we'd go clubbing soon and show him around vegas since he juss moved here from hawaii. new bffs:) ahahaha, well not really, but he said we should be LMFAO. its okay, being friends w/ a cute gay guy is always goood. &even though the security guy, melvin, had a gf, he still wanted my number. LMFAOOOOO. everyone was saying, you can be his mistress. OMFG. ahahaha lets not go there. but yeah, we could be friends, right? so being friendly. . . i gave it to him. hahaha, so even though both were SOOO unavailable, i'm now friends with two hot guys. . . hahaha. i really don't know why i get along w/ guys so much easier than girls. i guess its cos guys aren't rly shy and they're more enjoyable to be around. girls are so annoying when they're shy and don't know what to say or do to liven up the conversation. &if you know me, you KNOW i highly highly dislike it when someone is shy and act like they're better than me. &OH, girls prolly don't like me cos i'm always around guys, so they give off a rude, 'why the fck is this bitch around all these guys, she ain't even that cute' look. YEAH, yknw what im talkin bout. girls pretty much annoy me. well, this is more directed to girls i dnt knw &who give off that attitude. the ones i knw are juss like me. . . crazy, random, outspoken . . those are the type of girls i chill wit. LOL sorry, i'm goin off on a whole other tangent here. . . SO THAT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT, along w/ best pickin me up(after gettin done w/ gf #1, LMFAO) &gettin boba w/ my cousins, the entourage & i FINALLY kickn it again, FRIDAY NIGHT WAS HELLAAA CHILLLL. it was like a reunion w/ cousins the entourage, loooooveeed it.
SATURDAY . . . HAPPY BDAY VICVIC! cuzzo's bday that day, and i prepared for her a WHOLE day of activities she loves. SHOPPING, EATING, BOBA, KARAOKE, PICTURES, PICTURES, PICTURES. since i couldn't do what she REALLY wanted me to do for her bday, i tried making up for it. & i'm so glad she had fun. thanksss to best for taking uss everywhere, yr the best!(: & even though i blew half my paycheck that day, it was all worth it for her.
SUNDAY. . . which JUST ended, was relaxed. woke up w/ cuzzo, made a delish breakfast for us again, she loved it! i'm rly starting to think breakfast is my specialty. i can make a MEEANNNN breakfast, best believe! mwahaha, so we chilled &watched baby mama for a while until kuya mikko picked her up, since my mom took the car for work, we couldn't do anything that day. &on the contrary, i had work. . but work was actually gooood. even though i dnt work w/ bff, it was fun. edgar, this one co-worker who's been talking to me, surprised me w/ green tea frapuccino. awhhhhh, i was flattered, LOL. it made my day, cos i was sad after cuzzo had to leave. when i got off, went to wal-mart w/ mommaaa. bought new nail polish & body wash. aha random, but yeaaah. got home, started to paint my nails when alll of a sudden, drew called(: i rly wasn't expecting him to cos he's been busy the whole weekend, except friday when he called multiple times but i was ridiculously occupied so we dnt have a chance to talk all week/weekend. but yeah, i juss got off the fone w/ him, LOL(((: aaaahhh, idk what to say when it comes to him. . . i just feel . . . adored<3. i've never felt that way in my life, just completely adored by someone. we're alike in many ways, which is why we get along so well. &on top of that, i love his versatile personality. he's the kind of guy who's secure with his "manly" side, but also he'll be singing along to taylor swift songs w/ me when i bust out lyrics from it, ahhahaha. and everything else in between, i just rly like about him. &well, lets juss say. . . he's the kind of guy i hope to impress w/ my AWESOMEEEE breakfast making skilllsssss haha. hope to see him today, if all goes well.

by far, this week has been OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOOOOD. &oh, HAPPY BDAY TO ATEH MIKKA & JOHN FERNADEZ TODAY((((:
this was a very random post, but til next time! toooodlesssss(:

To my jerk, LOL

Even though we've sorta lost touch for a while, i know we'll continue where we left off.
I miss you, i really really do. Our lives have been hectic these past few days, so its impossible sometimes to talk.
I miss singing for you, you freestylin for me. I miss your voice, how cute your voicemail is. You sending me pictures thru txts, HAHA conceited;D Ahhhh, there's so much more, but i just miss you. . a whole lot.

Hope you're doing well though, yknw who go to if you need some ass whooopin lmfao.
imy hunnay.

XO, Christia

i need

girl friends.
but when i think about it, girls annoy the fck outta me, so nvm.
LOL chillin w/ my guys are more fun anyway. ha!

so. . . this week was great! except the first day of school & how i was feelin that day. EW. why the fck was i even thinking that way, i DON'T love him, i'm EXTREMELY over that shit, and he can live the "life" he wants cos i seriously DGAF and his plans w/ her sound extremely ridiculous! he's a douchebag, a CHEATER(not only to me), a spoiled & unappreciative mf, & she's a PYSCHO stalker, what a perfect match! ahahahahah. I DON'T NEED THAT WHATSOEVER & i could do a million times better(:

hmmm. . & every day he's jussss been making me feel better and better about myself(: if only he wasn't a ________ . . . everything would be PERFECT. even bff said so! i'm not the kinna person to judge someone cos of their past, cos i knw everyone could change for the better if they set their mind to it, and i'm still sitting here thinking about what if we were together, would i be the girl to change his life? honestly, i wanna be that girl for him someday, and if not, for someone else worthy. yknw. . that positive energy in his life cos he's been through so much. . . to be able to take care of him the right way, to treat him with respect, with unconditional love, for him to be able to trust me and knw that i'll always be here, to be able to see him through his best and through his worst even in his vulnerable state, not cos i wanna see him unhappy, but cos i wanna be able to make him feel thought of, cared for, adored. i just love the fact that when i talk to him, it feel so natural. he's proven to me he could be trusted and of reliance. and others out there are such opposites. he's an amazing guy, i don't know if i'm ready to be involved, to be official, but when it happens, thats the kind of girl i'd be to a guy like him, cos he DESERVES it. & yes i'm talking about you, DREW(;

DREW. . .

thank you love, for understanding me, being there for me, letting me vent out to you. i rly needed that tonight, and thank you for everything. . . just when I thought I've given up on you, you do something like this . . .<3
You're amazing, there. . . I said it(: Hahahaha. I'm looking forward to this weekend with you(;

YKNW WHAT . . . its not even worth it talking about you, or her cos i'm not trying to waste my time talking about something insignificant. I juss wanna explain the fact that I was having one of those "off" days yesterday, and the blog that i juss deleted was only meant for MY eyes, but unfortunately I didn't delete it in time cos she had to fckn stalk me and read my shit. I'm completely okay now, I don't knw why I felt that way yesterday, I've moved on and been over that for so long now. So if YOU'RE still reading this, i would appreciate it if you STOP. I don't know you. I don't wanna know you. And I'm for sure that you DON'T want to know me, and what I'm capable of doing. I'm saying it nicely, PLEASE STOP LURKIN THRU MY SHIT! I need my space, and I have every reason for expressing my feelings on here, but I don't appreciate someone looking thru my posts every second of the day just because they're insecure. I'VE ENDED ALL CONTACT/COMMUNICATION with him just to ease your insecurity. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, and stop trying to find out about me, what I'm doing everyday, etc. YOU'RE JUST WASTING YOUR DAMN TIME. So STOP, I don't ever want to hear of you lurkin thru my shit ever again, I'M DEAD FCKN SERIOUS. I'm not trynna disrespect you at all, cos I don't know you, so do me a favor and STOP STALKING ME.